Entropy
by Shintaro Kozu
Summary: Everything and everyone in Sheldon's life has been labeled and cataloged. Leonard: Physicist, Best Friend. Amy: Nuerobiologist, Girlfriend. Penny: Waitress, Friend. But, can Sheldon cope with the fact that even his carefully ordered life is subject to entropy? *Shenny*
1. Chapter One

**A/N Note: Oh God, here we go...**

******Superscripts= bolded letters/numbers in equations.**

**Subscripts= bolded and italicized letters/numbers in equations.**

* * *

**Chapter One.**

Uncapping his marker, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper prepared for battle. With elegant strokes of his trusty tool, Dr. Cooper brought forth an equation. His blue eyes narrowed at the whiteboard before him as he stared at the concept.

There, facing the good doctor was his greatest enemy: S= k · log W. It stood for everything that Sheldon Cooper hated: chaos, disorder, waste. It was unusable, and yet very much a part of the world he inhabited. A world that Sheldon Cooper thought could do without the pesky concept. After all, how can it exist in a reality that he too was very much a part of? How can something so natural go against the core beliefs that he shares? But, there it was, as plain as if written in ink.

The lanky theoretical physicist capped his marker and stood opposed the whiteboard, staring at the equation with analytical eyes. His mind remembered all it could about its formation, carefully trying to dissect the very thing in front of him. Like a great general that followed the words of Sun Tzu, Sheldon knew his enemy and himself. Sheldon knew that this particular equation is used in statistical thermodynamics, and was originally derived from Ludwig Boltzmann, but restated in the form facing Sheldon by Max Planck.

Sheldon knew a lot more about the set of characters that faced him, but none of it could help him, as he was going up against an established phenomenon.

The physicist bit his lip in irritation as he mentally tutted himself. He shook his head as he thought about how positively irrational he was being.

Sheldon Lee Cooper, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D. was trying to tear down centuries worth of work by simple thought and a whiteboard. If only Spock could see him now...

Sheldon's complexion turned red at the thought of him being considered illogical by his hero. His stomach plummeted as he imagined the dialogue that would be exchanged. After all, how could he explain this to another person, let alone a Vulcan? At the thought of another person, Sheldon slowly looked over his shoulder at his now empty apartment building. His blue eyes flashed towards the hallway where his and Leonard's room were located and his shoulders tensed. He waited for a certain short friend to come out, groggily heading to the kitchen to make coffee, perhaps with a certain blonde in toe. His shoulders eased when he briefly recounted that Leonard had left for the North Sea two weeks, five days and five hours ago.

There was absolutely no one that can catch him in his act of irrationality. Dr. Cooper turned back to his problem, once again reacquainting himself with it. Dispelling the previous factoids and useless information, Sheldon uncapped his marker again and wrote:

'_April 17, 1982'_

His lips settled into a slight smile as he looked at the words scribbled underneath the pesky equation. His fingers loosened his grip on the marker considerably as Sheldon recalled that day in great detail.

If Sheldon ever came close to what people consider a 'religious experience', it happened on April 17, 1982.

It was on the day that he was introduced to something that had been largely unknown to the prodigy: order. On April 17, 1982, Sheldon's Meemaw took him to what he now considers his first 'Fortress of Solitude', the Galveston Public Library. It was there, among the volumes of paper (inked knowledge that was ready to be discovered), that Sheldon had made a discovery that changed his life forever. He had found order, labels and routines.

Sheldon found the three ideas that became the foundations of his life.

It was also on April 17, 1982, that he first realized his nemesis. It was the very thing that stood before him now. The equation that seemed to taunt the lanky physicist. But, it wasn't the science that he was opposed to. It wasn't its truth value either. It was, rather, what the formula represented. April 17, 1982, was the day Sheldon realized that not only did he despise the very idea of S= k · log W, but that he was constantly surrounded by it.

After all, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper's life in Texas was rife with chaos and waste, and he wanted nothing to do with it.

So, from that point on, Sheldon Cooper longed and strived to put his life in order; to catalogue everything. If he had ordered everything, made things neater, labeled and put items in their correct places, maybe the broken home Sheldon Cooper was living in would cease to be broken.

But recounting the events of April 17, 1982, did nothing to refute the idea Dr. Sheldon Cooper so elegantly laid out on his whiteboard, it merely explained _why_ he wanted to.

Deciding his conquest was fruitless; Sheldon left from his spot in front of the board and let out a sigh of contentment as he settled into his cushioned constant.

Whenever Sheldon stared at the proverbial abyss that was S= k · log W for extended periods of time, he would flee to the safety of _his _spot.

Avoiding the idea written on his whiteboard, Sheldon reoriented himself. His spot was not only a comfortable place to sit, but it was the cornerstone of the ordered life he strived to live. His spot was always there, waiting to make him feel better, whether it was supporting him while he watched Doctor Who on Saturday, or comfortably coddling him whenever he was in emotional distress.

For a brief moment, Sheldon considered making himself a hot drink, but he didn't dare to move from his spot. He wanted to bask in it, reveling in the fact that the familiar indentation of the cushion was made almost exclusively by him, for him. It fit him and only him. Sheldon could stay in his spot forever.

_'Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium...'_

Sheldon ran through the order of elements by their increasing atomic number with ease, relaxing more and more as he ordered the components of the observable universe into a manageable sequence.

Calm eyes glanced back to the whiteboard. The lanky physicist knew that with a few swift movements, the equation could be erased and Sheldon could continue on as if he had never written it, but those movements were impossible.

Never let it be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper was too cowardly to face the implications of scientific fact.

Getting up, Sheldon reached his whiteboard and began to stare at it again. Like a statue, he didn't move, redirecting every ounce of the energy he could to thinking through this problem.

His eyes widened as he realized that the contempt he had for the idea was simply because Sheldon was there to observe it. Enthusiastically, Sheldon grabbed his trusty tool and uncapped it. Sparked by a brief flicker of an idea, he animatedly began to write. The lanky physicist stood back after a moment in silent contemplation as he stared at what he wrote underneath his previous entries.

'S + E = O(1-r)**t**'

Sheldon smiled smugly to himself as he looked at the new equation. This described his situation nicely. With S, being Sheldon, and E standing for S= k · log W, the lanky physicist realized that his ordered life (O) was slowly decreasing at a steady rate(r) as time (**t**) went on.

However, Sheldon wasn't satisfied, there were too many variables. Too many unknowns in this equation caused his mouth to form a tight line as he once again thought about this new formula.

First, he needed a mathematical equivalent to his ordered life. He quickly erased the O in the formula and put 100. 100 was not a random number, but rather a fitting one to Sheldon. It represents a whole, and thus, it was the perfect number to substitute in, as he felt that at one time, he had a perfectly ordered life.

_'When was that?' _Sheldon mused, his eyes still transfixed on the equation that so accurately described his current situation. When had E been introduced into the equation? When had it entered into Sheldon's life?

The answer came to Sheldon, E entered into his life when an attractive blonde who kicked butt at Halo moved in across the hall.

Eagerly, Sheldon erased E and replaced it with P. No longer did E stand for S= k · log W, it stood for Penny and he felt that his equation should reflect the change. With the clarification of P, Sheldon also erased **t** and replaced it with the number six. The amount of years that had passed since Penny had come crashing into his life.

S+P= 100(1-r)**6**

Satisfied with himself, Sheldon smiled at the nearly complete equation in front of him. Sure, he still had r as the only unknown variable, but knowing at what rate his ordered life decayed wasn't essential to fix the problem. He had enough information without going into unnecessary detail. Sheldon plus Penny leads to less order in his life.

Sheldon plus Penny equals entropy.

The lanky physicist was getting somewhere. Underneath the equation, Sheldon began to write a new one.

S-P = C(1+r)**t**

Finally, a solution that solved Sheldon's initial quandary, but Sheldon wasn't satisfied with it. He felt that something was missing. Sheldon's mouth crinkled as he surveyed the new formula, anxiously trying to figure out what was missing from it. Surely there couldn't be something that Sheldon Cooper missed?

"Whatcha doin', Moonpie?" A female voice said, startling Sheldon. Whipping around to face the intruder, the tall theoretical physicist faced Penny.

"Penny, only my Meemaw-"

"Calls me Moonpie," Penny finished for him, smiling brightly at him, her eyes glinting mischievously before fixing her eyes on Sheldon's whiteboard, "What's on the board, Moonpie?"

The theoretical physicist rolled his eyes at Penny, but answered her nonetheless, "I was having trouble with reconciling my views on order with the entropy that seems to have inserted itself into my life."

Penny's face went from normal to confused as she tried to take in what Sheldon had just said, "En... Entro-what?"

"Entropy, Penny, entropy." Sheldon responded, not fazed that she didn't understand. He turned to the board and looked at his work again, clasping his hands behind his back before elaborating, "Merriam-Webster defines entropy as a measure of the unavailable energy in a closed thermodynamic system that is also usually considered to be a measure of the system's disorder, that is a property of the system's state, and that varies directly with any reversible change in heat in the system and inversely with the temperature of the system; broadly: the degree of disorder or uncertainty in a system."

Sheldon turned and smiled at her patronizingly, subtly coaxing her into trying to understand what he had just said. However, it seemed to be a lost cause as Penny only seemed to furrow her brow in deep confusion.

Sighing, Sheldon elaborated further, "I was trying to find a way to get rid of the chaos in my life."

"Oh!" Penny said, excited that she finally understood what he had been trying to tell her, but then she looked, as if it were possible, more confused.

"Through math?"

Sheldon let out a frustrated sigh, while he was trying hard to not be as condescending to her, she wasn't making it easy.

"Yes, Penny, through _math._"

"And how is it going so far?"

Sheldon beamed.

"Very nicely, I believe I have successfully found out the cause of the chaos in my life, and have successfully written a formula to get my life back to the optimal level of order." the theoretical physicist pointed to the very last equation written.

"That's nice, sweetie." Penny said as she smiled at Sheldon. Her eyes moved to the equation Sheldon had eagerly pointed out. For a second, she swore her brain blew up.

There were too many letters.

_'We are talking about Sheldon here,'_ Penny reminded herself. If anybody could comprehend what was written, Sheldon could.

"Penny, macaroni depictions of a TARDIS are nice. This," Sheldon pointed to the whole of his whiteboard, "is genius."

A small smile crept up on Penny's face as soon as he finished his statement. Everybody knew Sheldon hated change, and everyone was worried that Leonard's departure would somehow affect the way Sheldon operated, but it seems as if the Whackadoodle was the same as ever.

He certainly was as arrogant as ever.

"That's nice, Sweetie," Penny repeated cheekily, a smile still on her lips. She patiently waited for Sheldon to look at her incredulously before holding out a familiar plastic bag, "Would you like your Thai food?"

Sheldon's mouth was already open, ready to explain that the word nice had its origin in the Latin word _necius_ which meant ignorant and that nice was originally defined as "foolish" and admonish her for repeating herself, when his ears registered the following words and his eyes glanced down to the bag.

The physicist's mouth closed, gazing at Penny with a look that was usually reserved for his theoretical work. Penny continued to confound Sheldon. But then again, she repeatedly puzzled him with her folksy ways and her ill-fated relationship with Leonard. However, this was different... Penny, who Sheldon had established was the cause of his entropy, was following his set routine. Thai food on Mondays.

_'Fascinating,'_ Sheldon thought, his gaze still focused on the blonde in front of him. The equations on his whiteboard were left forgotten, their importance rapidly dwindling as Sheldon's mind focused in on a new quandary: Penny.

Fascinating indeed.

Penny shifted her weight while she was under the intense scrutiny of the thin man before her. Her green eyes gazing into his blue. A slight blush graced Penny's flesh as she realized that Sheldon was truly looking at her, taking in her features, her stance, her eyes, her clothes. Penny's whole entire body was under the intense gaze of Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

The blonde now wished she had worn something a bit more modest then a blue tank top and denim shorts.

"You remembered," Sheldon finally remarked, his gaze dropping to the floor.

"Well, I know how you are with change," Penny gave him a sympathetic look, "and I felt that with Leonard gone, you would need a little normal in your life."

But Penny knew that having specific meals on specific days wasn't normal. It was positively abnormal. However, to Sheldon, it was merely routine, and she wanted to make Sheldon sure that Leonard being gone would not affect all of the other craziness that made up the tall Whackadoodle.

Sheldon moved towards the bag. Gingerly, he took it and placed the bag on the table in front of the couch, making sure to avoid skin contact. He sat in his spot again, involuntarily letting out a sigh of relief. Finally, things were getting back to normal.

Ever since Leonard had left, Sheldon felt slightly disorientated, almost as if he wasn't sure where he was anymore. Everything _looked_ the same, but nothing was _familiar. _However, Sheldon had tried very hard to make sure that others didn't see it. He participated in all of the conversations he felt he would take part in, and never let one wrong remark or hypothesis from his (he hated to say it) peers pass. They or Penny at least, must have noticed his slight pause whenever he entered into the main room. They must have noticed the way his eyes flickered to the spot where his roommate used to sit, almost wishing for his short friend to materialize right in front of him so that he can continue on as normal.

Sheldon frowned as his eyes were drawn to Leonard's chair, causing a pang of something Sheldon couldn't place. While it was true that the others publicly claimed to not have a "spot" like Sheldon did, the lanky physicist was quick to note that many of his friends did in fact stake a claim on their seating. They were just more flexible on who else sat in it.

A noise caused Sheldon to look at Penny, who realized that her left short pocket had just vibrated. The blonde quickly pulled out her phone, and swiped the screen. A frown marred her face as she looked to Sheldon, her expression conveying that bad news was about to reach his ears.

"Howard and Raj can't make it."

Before Sheldon made any move signifying his disappointment, his phone vibrated.

Fishing it out of his pocket, and reading the text that was displayed on his lock-screen, Sheldon frowned. Amy Farrah Fowler, Sheldon's partner in the social convention people call a "romantic relationship," had just texted him.

'My apologies, Sheldon. It seems that my lab work has just reach a critical junction (One of my test subjects that beat his addiction to smoking is helping a test subject that is trying to quit, very fascinating!) and I will be unable to eat with you today. I hope this does not cause any inconvenience.'

If Sheldon didn't know any better, he would think that some kind of force was preventing him from enjoying some semblance of normalcy. Perhaps the Sinister Six or some other villain group has made a cyborg that disrupts Sheldon's carefully ordered life? Maybe they named it Penny?

With that thought, the good doctor's lips curled up into a small smile as Sheldon imagined Dr. Otto Octavius assembling the blonde's heart-shaped face, her athletic figure and manly feet.

"Sheldon?"

The Nebraskan's voice brought Sheldon back to reality. The theoretical physicist frowned again at the situation that was presented before him. He carefully put his phone back in his pocket before looking back at Penny.

"Amy regrets to inform me that she too will not be joining us this evening," The Whackadoodle said, keeping his voice even, "Evidently, she has made an incredible discovery regarding the empathy in primates whilst battling addiction."

"Oh, Sweetie," the blonde began, moving to sit down next to him, "I'm sorry."

Penny made no attempt to comfort him through touch, as she knew that not only would he not appreciate it, but that skin contact might be a graver offense to him than not being able to follow Sheldon's schedule. While she was used to not immediately touching him, it still made it awkward. Penny had a long standing opinion that words of comfort without a hug or at least a gentle pat on the shoulder were usually empty.

"Were you the cause of their disappearance from dinner?"

The question caught the Nebraskan off guard. Penny looked at Sheldon, who had kept his blue eyes firmly focused on her. Did he really think she was the cause of this?

"No, Shel-"

"Then there is no need to apologize."

The voice Sheldon used calmed Penny. It was the same voice he used when he was stating a fact, something which Sheldon knew to be true. Penny didn't have to apologize, because to Sheldon, this wasn't her fault.

It was moments like these that made Penny appreciate Sheldon. Underneath all of the crazy and condescending was a person who did, in his own way, care about the people around him. She had seen it before when she had dislocated her shoulder, and Sheldon had come to her aid. Sure, anybody would have driven her to the hospital, but would just anybody carefully and painstakingly make sure that the answers to the questions the hospital had be so accurate? Would just anybody try to go out of their comfort zone to comfort a friend? Sure, the Whackadoodle didn't manage to touch her then, but at least he _tried._ That was certainly more than a robot would do.

Penny smiled at Sheldon, who looked back at her curiously. Her posture relaxed and she instantly felt at peace. Who cares what other people thought of Sheldon? She knew who he was. She knew that Sheldon Cooper was a man who cared about his friends, even if his friends didn't know it.

"So, what's been happening?" Penny asked, trying to start a conversation as she watched Sheldon reach for the bag. When the physicist grabbed it, he responded, "Oh, nothing that I think you will comprehend, Penny."

The Nebraskan rolled her eyes, deciding that what Sheldon had said wasn't much of an insult. Even the most extraordinarily smart men can't seem to comprehend the Whackadoodle.

However, Penny did comprehend that Sheldon wasn't one for small-talk, or whatever he called it. Leonard's girlfriend bit her lip as she thought of what to talk about. Science was a no go, she barely understood the majority of it, and the things the blonde was well versed in Sheldon would consider not worth talking about.

So how about one of the interesting things about the theoretical scientist?

"So, you really remember everything that happens to you?"

It was a question, and one that Penny wouldn't doubt if the answer was yes. Sheldon Lee Cooper was a genius. More brilliant than anyone she could think of off the top of her head, so why couldn't he be able to remember everything? After all, the insufferable know-it-all has got some amazing talents.

But, one had to get him talking about _something,_ and why not talk about himself.

It was with that thought that Penny realized she knew almost next to nothing about Sheldon Cooper. Sure, she knew he was from Galveston, Texas, that his mother was a religious fundamentalist, and that he calls his grandmother 'Meemaw', but other than that, the man before her was a mystery.

"I possess an eidetic memory," Sheldon responded. The good doctor placed his food on the table (his eating utensils immaculately placed in the proper positions), before he turned to the Nebraskan, "So, in answer to your query: Yes. Though how you don't know the answer after six, nearly seven, years of being in contact with me should be a question you need to ask yourself."

"Well then," Penny started, smirking a little bit. Sheldon took the bait, "prove it."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows at this before answering the challenge.

"Very well, how do you propose I do that?"

Biting her lip, Penny tried to think of a question she thought would be suitable to test Sheldon. A smile grew as she found the perfect one to ask. With her eyes shining brightly in amusement, Penny asked, "What was I wearing when you first saw me?"

It was a fair question. It was so long ago (almost seven years) that she doubts any normal person would know. Plus, Penny thought that even if he remembered that far back, Sheldon wouldn't remember what she was wearing as that would require paying close attention to a female body.

Sheldon lips formed a smile as he looked at her with eyes of a person who knew they had won.

"Oh, Penny," He gave her a condescending look, "that's too easy. You were wearing a blue top with short denim shorts," Sheldon paused, his eyes scanning her body, "not unlike what you are wearing now."

Blood rushed to Penny's cheeks when she registered his words. She briefly remembered that he _was _right. She was wearing something similar to what she is wearing now almost seven years ago when they first met. However, the fact that Sheldon was right got pushed out of her mind as another thought swelled.

Sheldon Cooper noticed her.

The blonde wasn't exactly sure why this thought had flustered her so much. After all, she had absolutely no attraction to the man before her. In fact, she was dating Sheldon's roommate. Admittedly, she _was _attracted to him when she had first laid eyes on him. His tall stature, blue eyes, boyishly good looks, and the confident way he carried himself was much to be desired. But all of those good traits couldn't overshadow the fact that Sheldon Lee Cooper was an egotistical, condescending Whackadoodle who was too smart for his own good. The moment the Nebraskan had learned about that fact (which wasn't long after she had met him), he was instantly off the dating table.

"That's pretty cool! I wish I could remember everything," Penny exclaimed before bringing her fork up to her mouth.

Just then, Sheldon mumbled something under his breath as he began to start eating again that the Nebraskan couldn't quite catch. Her fork's assent towards her mouth stopped as she wondered what exactly Sheldon had said.

"What did ya say, sweetie? I didn't catch it."

"It was nothing Penny." Sheldon's mouth twitched slightly as he looked up at her.

The blonde didn't believe him. He always twitched while lying. It was one of those traits Penny was glad a guy like Sheldon had. Not only was it a benefit to her, but it was an ego boost. She could do something that the theoretical physicist couldn't: lie well.

"Nothing my ass, Sheldon." Penny folded her arms and glared at Sheldon. The mere fact that Sheldon denied it made the probability of it being a nasty remark, probably about her failure of an education, exceptionally high.

Sheldon looked back at her for a few moments before sighing, his long fingers tightening their grip on his fork.

"If you must know, I said 'I wish I could forget.'"

Whatever scathing retort Penny had made in anticipation of a nasty barb at her expense suddenly died. A lump in her throat formed and she tried to swallow it down.

The physicist's eyes suddenly dimmed as he looked at the Nebraskan with... Sadness?

What was going on? When had the discussion about his memory retention become something much more? Why is Sheldon, the man who had never really shown emotions (though Penny knew he was capable of them), looking at her with those eyes?

Penny believed that eyes were windows into a person's soul.

Why was Sheldon's so sad?

"Oh, sweetie..."

That was all the blonde could have said. Her mouth wasn't cooperating with her as she kept staring into the blue eyes that were Sheldon's. Suddenly the lump that she had attempted to swallow down resurfaced. There was so much more Penny wanted to say to Sheldon. She wanted to speak words that comforted him, but she wasn't able to.

Sheldon felt the sensation of flesh touching his hand. Flinching instinctively, the physicist looked down to see what his touch receptors had felt. Penny's hand was on top of his in what he assumed was the customary position to comfort a person. After a few moments, Sheldon blinked, his eyes still on the feminine hands on top of his. It wasn't an altogether an unpleasant sensation. It was actually very pleasing if Sheldon forgot about the bacteria that were being exchanged.

However, Dr. Sheldon Cooper couldn't forget. He wasn't awarded that luxury.

"Penny, while I appreciate your attempts at comfort, I do not think that subjecting me to millions of germs will help me sleep better at night."

The soft, warm feeling of Penny's hand disappeared, and Sheldon felt a sliver of regret burying its way into his mind. Perhaps he should have allowed her to comfort him more? Sheldon looked at Penny. Realizing that the Nebraskan might have been offended at his remark, his mind scanned around for an answer to the situation he had put himself in. Was there a proper protocol in the distribution of comfort? And if so, were there any steps that covered what happens if you happen to offend the person who is comforting you?

"Penny?" Sheldon asked, even though he was right next to her. His hands fiddled around nervously, and his blue eyes met green.

"Yes, Sheldon?" Penny answered, her voice a little faint.

"I am unsure of how to proceed in this conversation."

"Yeah, me too, Moonpie."

* * *

For about ten minutes after Penny had left his apartment, Sheldon sat in his spot. Silently contemplating the baffling discourse he had just had, Sheldon's eyes flickered towards the door. Beyond that door, there was a hallway that led into the apartment 4B where the Nebraskan lived. He wondered briefly what would happen if he had marched over there, knocked and tried... Tried what? The physicist's lips crinkled in dissatisfaction as he realized that yet again the answer was escaping the great scientist. Sheldon Lee Cooper did not have a doctorate in social interaction, but it irritated him that he wasn't able to draw a satisfactory answer.

Unable to sit anymore, the theoretical physicist stood from his spot. The feeling of irritation increased when his eyes spotted the whiteboard. The equations he had so brilliantly put on his whiteboard were still there, beckoning him.

With his eyes focused on the letters that formed the most recent equation, Sheldon strode over to the board as his mind sent him back in time, before Penny had interrupted him with Thai food. _'_

_Hmm...'_ The theoretical physicist thought. On the surface, it seemed that Sheldon had gotten his answer, but something _felt_ missing. Sheldon pursed his lips and ran over the past seven years in his head, trying to see if he could in fact find something he doesn't even know exists.

_'Removing Penny...' _The physicist mused. Indeed, that's what the equation had indicated for him to do. It was clear as day and seemed to solve to issue of entropy. However, with Penny gone, Sheldon would feel sad.

The good doctor's eyes widened. He had got it. He had found what he was missing. Sheldon minus Penny equals an increase of order, but a decrease of happiness.

Sheldon Lee Cooper smiled to himself as he made the corrections to his whiteboard.

* * *

**A/N Note: First, let me say that I am so nervous posting this. It was my first attempt at anything Big Bang Theory, and I understand if any of you think it sucked. I probably didn't do the characters justice, and I deeply apologize. Nonetheless, I wrote it so I might as well post the finished product. **

**It must also be noted that I am by no means a mathematician or even a scientist (Though I hope to be one someday). I used Wikipedia (If you haven't donate to them!) for Boltzmann/Planck equation, and I probably butchered the exponential growth equation I put in to symbolize Sheldon's life. I apologize to any scientist/mathematician that reads this and cringes. If I got something wrong, please PM me and I will do my best to correct it.**

**Also, I haven't seen season 7 yet, so I can assure you there won't be spoilers of it in here. **

**I got the inspiration for this story from tx-fictionqueen, and I hope that even though you may not like my work, you go check her's out. SHE IS FUCKING FANTASTIC! **

**P.S I am way too early, but Happy Birthday/ Merry Christmas to tx-fictionqueen, I hope you like your gift. Sorry that it didn't come with a bow.**


	2. Chapter Two Preview

**A/N Note: THIS IS A PREVIEW NOT THE WHOLE CHAPTER! SEE BOTTOM A/N Note FOR FURTHER INFORMATION! **

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Penny missed Leonard.

That was an indisputable fact.

The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Penny missed Leonard.

The tiny gap in Penny's heart could only be filled by her little homunculus, and that feeling of emptiness made it a trial to get up in the morning. It also didn't help that she had a raging headache. However, it was her duty as Leonard's girlfriend to take care of the eccentric man-boy that lived across the hall from her. Sitting up, she looked around the room, casually glancing to the place where her alarm clock should be.

Should be, being the operative words.

Peering over the side of her bed, the blonde saw the alarm clock with its plug disconnected on the floor. With her mind on how it got there, the Nebraskan's headache caused a painful pang.

"Ugg..."

Penny missed Leonard and she was hung over.

Rubbing the drowsiness out of her eyes, Penny got out of bed. Bending down, the blonde picked up the alarm clock and set it down on her bed-side table.

_'Ohmygod, Sheldon!'_

Penny inhaled sharply as she remembered that it was her responsibility to drive the Whackadoodle to his work. Quickly picking up her phone, the blonde swiped the screen and frantically looked at the time.

_6:45 AM_

Breathing a sigh of relief, Penny set her phone back onto her bedside table and glanced towards her bathroom. Sheldon didn't have to arrive at work until eight, so Penny would have more than enough time to wash up and attempt to quell the pounding headache and heartache.

Heading towards the bathroom, Penny began to strip off her clothes sloppily and dropped them on the floor. By the time she had closed the bathroom the door, the blonde was wearing nothing but her bra, panties and a pained look on her face as her headache raged on. Her first thought was to open up her bathroom cabinet and rifle through it for some powerful headache medicine, but she remembered that she had run out the day after Leonard had left, and she hadn't bothered to restock them.

_'Why did he have to go?' _Penny thought sadly as she pulled back the curtain and turned her shower on.

She knew that it was unfair to fault Leonard for leaving, but the blonde couldn't help wonder if being on a research team was more important than their relationship. After all, Leonard was willing to spend four months on a boat searching for something for that Hawking guy than spending four months in a cozy bed with her. Of course, science was his profession, and Leonard always dreamed of researching with some of the greatest names in his field.

It was nearly three weeks since he had left. It was nearly three weeks since he had dumped the responsibilities of caring for Sheldon on her. While caring for the Whackadoodle wasn't too much of a bother (Amy, Raj, and Howard were helping her), it still wasn't something she had looked forward to doing on a daily basis. After all, Penny was a creature of the afternoon, and Sheldon's needs encroached on her preferred sleeping time. It was with this thought that Penny tentatively tested the temperature of the water with her hand.

It was just about ready.

After a few more seconds, Penny shed the last remaining articles of clothing and got in, flinching a little when the water made contact with her skin. Closing her eyes, the blonde let the water pelt her continuously.

Another intense, but brief shot of pain hit Penny's head, and vainly tried to will it to stop. But, of course, the alcohol induced headache hell wouldn't abate.

Trying to focus on something else, Penny's eyes lingered on her feet. Beneath her fleshy pads were adhesive Hello Kitties in different, cute poses, protecting her from another dislocated shoulder. A small smile formed on her lips as she remembered who had helped her through that trying situation. While the pain, drugs, and Sheldon's tendency to make things incredibly difficult were definitely negatives, the fact that Sheldon Cooper went out of his way to help her made that part of her life a fond memory. Penny liked to think that she would do the same for Sheldon some day, help him when he needed her most. However, when Sheldon needed it, needed _her_, she found it impossible to do anything than repeat words, and physical contact.

_'"If you must know, I said 'I wish I could forget."'_

Those words were the reason for her hangover.

The sadness, and raw emotion those words had hinted at made Penny think and consequently drink till... Well, she couldn't exactly recall when she stopped. It was weird because Sheldon didn't convey the emotions through his voice, but rather his look. That intense emotion of sadness conveyed through those brilliantly blue irises came as a shock to her.

Of course, Penny shouldn't really be surprised that Sheldon's expression could be so intense while his voice be so... Sheldon-y. Penny noticed that Sheldon is a man of action. He can say anything, but his actions convey his feelings or intentions. He twitches while lying, he shows his appreciation for his friends not through words (although a few "thank you"s would be nice), but through many different different actions (giving Raj a job, loaning money to Penny, and of course, helping her through the tough time with the dislocated shoulder).

The blonde turned and faced the opposite way, letting her backside take the majority of the watery blast as she thought about those sad blue eyes again, and the question that Penny desperately wanted answered.

What could Sheldon want to forget?

Penny ran her fingers through her hair, untangling the loose knots that were present in her blonde tresses, and proceeded to soak her hair thoroughly with the water coming from her shower head while she thought about the question.

_'Bullying...?'_ Penny vaguely remembered someone mentioning about Sheldon being bullied, and even if she hadn't heard of it, she was _sure_ that it happened. Kids could be some of the cruelest people to those who are different.

The blonde turned back around and reached for her shampoo plus conditioner bottle. Uncapping it, Penny applied it to her hands and proceeded to massage her scalp and thoroughly. A tight line formed on the Nebraskan's face as she continued to think about what Sheldon could have meant.

Perhaps he got involved in something shady? Shady enough that Sheldon wants it completely wiped from his memory?

If Penny recalled properly, Sheldon's mother had mentioned something about Sheldon having a brother. If Sheldon _were _to get involved in something shady in his past, George Jr. was most likely the reason behind it.

The Nebraskan stifled a laugh as she imagined George Jr. somehow getting Sheldon involved in a dangerous activity of some sort (perhaps underground cage fighting?). It was so not _Sheldon_. It just simply wasn't in the Whackadoodle's DNA to do anything like that. However, Penny would pay good money if it was a story.

_'This isn't the time to joke,'_ Penny admonished herself while she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. But it did raise an interesting question: What was Sheldon's home like? After a few more minutes, the blonde turned the water knob to the off position and stepped out of the tub. Instantly goosebumps formed as the blonde rushed to grab a towel.

And there it was... A moment of clarity.

The epiphany had hit almost as soon as the moist air touched her naked skin, and Penny wasn't sure which one had caused the pleasant feeling in her stomach. A smile crept up and a happy feeling settled in as Penny realized that she had been asking the wrong questions. It was that realization that sent a feeling of accomplishment throughout her, and she briefly wondered if Sheldon felt something similar when he made his scientific breakthroughs.

How can Penny help?

That was the question.

* * *

**A/N Note: Now, I am uploading this for two reasons 1.) I want to assure readers (followers) that I have no plans on giving this fic up, and that I am working on it! I know its been nearly a month since the first chapter was posted, but please be patient with me, I do have a life, as well as school work to slog through. 2.) I want to show the readers a source of difficulty in writing this fic: Penny. As one of you knows, I've been having trouble with writing her character (particularly the scenes where she is the main focus, like the segment above), and I want to have the communities opinions on how I am doing so far. I love criticism/ fan interaction and I want to hear what you guys think about how I am writing Penny so far.**

**The next chapter shouldn't take too long, I just have a couple thousand more words to go, and a couple more scenes to write before its up and ready. Expect it sometime soon if I am diligent and my muse is constantly fed. When it is done, I will delete the preview and re-post it as Chapter two**

**Thanks for understanding, or even just bothering to read/review, I greatly appreciate it!**


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